he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.