My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize