I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.