and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
this hospital has no fireball
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.