I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning