It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
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at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
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I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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