Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
