What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
