There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
