Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
