On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
