dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
