We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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