let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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