so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Randomize
