Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
