and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize