Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
