ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
