In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
