I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
This couple is walking their pig around campus
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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