His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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