too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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