omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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