I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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