Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm having to shit out rocks
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