Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
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