Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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