worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
