We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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