i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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