this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Randomize
