i just google imaged poop.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
