kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
he's single and there are thong briefs.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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