omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
