Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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