I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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