So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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