He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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