Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Are we still banned from the library?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
