so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
