If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
The air was thick with penises
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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