Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
