It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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