That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
