You can't motorboat a personality
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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