I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
