my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
