dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
