I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
