sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
