No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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