nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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