do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
