I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
