this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
