So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
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Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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