belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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