you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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