She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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