I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
