dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
